


a different answer and a new question

by solrosan



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Andy | Andromache of Scythia dies, Booker Gets a Visit, Canon Compliant, Gen, Growing Old, M/M, Mortal Andy | Andromache of Scythia, Post-Canon, implied Andy/Quynh, last wishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solrosan/pseuds/solrosan
Summary: “I want to be cremated.”It's a simple enough sentence to say, but it's not necessarily a simple request, and when Andy says it, it shakes the rest of them.
Relationships: Andromache of Scythia & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova & Nile Freeman, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova & Nile Freeman, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Nile Freeman, Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 34
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

“I want to be cremated.”

Joe, Nicky, and Nile all stop eating to stare at Andy. She’s been mortal a little over ten years now, her hair is slowly turning grey, her face has more wrinkles today than last year and will have even more a year from now. It’s strange having your body suddenly change after millennia without any change at all. It’s been hard to come to terms with the reality that she’s becoming a burden. Someone to look after. Someone to take care of. (Not that they have dared to say it, but she notices…)

It doesn’t hurt more, being shot or stabbed as a mortal, it just hurt longer. Three times it’s been touch and go. She knows it’s hard for the others -- perhaps not as hard for Nile as the other two, she still hasn’t outlived her first life yet -- but avoiding what is fact doesn’t help anyone. She’s going to die and she’s going to die soon, according to her standards, no matter what happens.

“I’m not saying that you should risk anything to retrieve my body or that you have to pick up all the pieces of me or anything like that,” she says when they one by one starts to put down their knives and forks. “But if it’s possible, I want to be cremated and then I want you to scatter me in the Atlantic ocean.”

“Andy…” Nicky starts, but he stops when she looks at him and smiles.

“I want to be with Quynh.”

Nicky nods and she knows he gets it. From the corner of her eye, she sees that Joe nods too. Fuck, she hopes they get to die their last death together.

“I don’t want any readings and I don’t want any words to be said over me.” She waits for Nicky to nod before she goes on, but when she goes on, she makes sure to look at all of them. “If you need to or want to say something for _you_ then by all means, it’s not like I’ll be able to stop you...”

It’s supposed to be a joke, but she can see that it doesn’t land well with either Joe or Nicky. Nile, bless her, puts on a smile. 

“There is one thing I want, though,” she says, looking between the men. “I want Booker there when you do it. I know there is no way I’m going to live until his time is up, but I want him there and you need to find it in you to forgive him enough to allow that.”

Nicky’s jaw is set and Joe’s lips pressed together in a thin line, but they both nod. It’s a huge relief. She doesn’t for a moment think that they will allow Booker back into the fold before 100 years have passed -- well, Nile would -- but the nods make her confident that her family will reunite when she’s gone and that’s all she needs.

“Thank you,” she mouths.

They will be alright.

Her family will be alright.

* * *

Joe stands outside, looking up at the light polluted night sky, his arms wrapped around him. The conversation during dinner had been… intense. It’s been awhile since he last felt this conflicted. 

He hears steps behind him. He hears _Nicky’s_ steps behind him, and doesn’t bother turning around. Soon, he feels Nicky’s hand on his lower back.

“Come here,” Nicky murmurs, guiding him into a hug. Joe hugs him back, burrowing his face against his neck.

“I miss him,” Joe mutters. “I’m still not over it, but I miss him.”

“Me too.”

The Booker-part of Andy’s request is the easy one. He and Nicky have talked about him a lot since they went their separate ways, never quite in the same phase of their grief, going back and forth between denial, anger, bargaining, and depression… Neither of them are close to acceptance yet. 

Still, Booker is the easy part. It almost feels good to have a legitimate reason to check up on him in (hopefully) a few decades. It’s the cremation that has Joe conflicted. Not the actual cremation per see, though he’s not thrilled about it, but it brings up so many questions about life and death and what will come after. He knows Andy doesn’t care about or believe in a life after death and seeing how long she’s lived, he can’t blame her for not wanting any more of it. When it comes to him and Nicky however… 

Nicky’s Catholicism is about as much of a problem for him these days as he knows his own faith is for Nicky -- so, none -- but if one of them _is_ right, the other will not join them in Paradise.

To be fair, seeing what they have done, neither of them will probably go to a particularly good place after death. 

“I want to be with you after death,” Joe whispers after awhile. “I want to know I get to see you again.”

“Abraham’s god is good,” Nicky says. “He won’t separate us, no matter how we choose to pray or what prophets we listen to.”

Joe sighs, but he still smiles when he pulls away to give Nicky a Look, “Abraham’s god is an arse, and we both know it.”

“That too,” says Nicky with a short laugh, and takes Joe’s hand. “Death can’t keep us apart, we’ve already proven that.”

Joe brings their hands to his mouth and kisses Nicky’s. He knows Nicky means well, but tonight it’s nothing but empty words, like everything they said to each other the first hundred years or so after they had stopped looking for Quynh. They don’t know what the future holds and some promises are dangerous. 

“Are you doing alright?” he asks.

Nicky shakes his head. “No, I… no.”

Joe nods, Nicky’s tone of voice -- actually his entire being -- making it clear that he doesn’t want to go any deeper into what he’s feeling tonight. So they hold each other again. A little closer, a little longer. 

Because they still can and because they desperately need to.

* * *

“And here I thought it was going to be Nicky,” says Andy with a wry smile when Joe seeks her out about a week after she’s told them about her Death Plans.

Joe smiles, yet he looks so sad it breaks Andy’s heart. She is ready to go, so very ready, but it’s becoming more and more clear to her that they -- Joe and Nicky especially -- aren’t ready to see her do it.

“If you want to talk about Booker--”

“No.” Joe shakes his head. “It’s not an issue, he should be there. I won’t push him off the boat even once.”

Andy smiles. “Good. Nicky?”

“He’ll push him off the boat once, for sure.”

“Joe…”

“Don’t worry, he’ll be too afraid you’ll come back and haunt him to do anything.”

She laughs quietly and nods at the space next to her on the sofa for him to join her. Joe gets the hint. He takes a deep breath when he’s seated, but meets her eyes with a smile. 

“I want to talk about the cremation.” He holds up a finger to stop her when she starts to reply. “Hear me out, I know you don’t care about it that way and I respect that, but…”

“But what, Yusuf?” She switches from English -- which they’ve all got into the habit of talking because of Nile -- to Arabic, the first language they’d shared. It throws him off, but when he continues, it’s also in Arabic.

“You and Quynh were sentenced to be burned alive and now you want us to burn you in death.”

“It’s easier to scatter ash than body parts.”

“Please don’t joke about this.”

Andy frowns, but nods. “Sorry.”

“You understand why I have to ask, right?”

“Not really, but I’m grateful that you care.” 

She takes his hand the way Nicky often takes hers when they talk about difficult things and Joe puts his other on top of hers. 

“It’s not the same,” she says. “Those people hated me, hated us. You love me. You, Nicky, Booker, Nile… What you do can never be the same, do you hear me?”

Joe nods.

“So you can reassure Nicky that he won’t be carrying out a centuries old sentence the church gave me or whatever his mind is tormenting him with right now.”

Joe huffs out a short laugh. “How did you know?”

“Oh, you know, when you’ve known someone for the better part of a millennium…” She winks. “Also, I’ll be dead, finally -- I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true. Nothing will be able to hurt me anymore. It’s not the same, okay?”

“Okay.”

She pulls him into a hug and disappears in his arms when he puts them around her. She’s ready to go, but perhaps not entirely ready to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

Forty-three years after Nile died for the first time they ask Copley’s successor to start looking for Booker. By that time, Andy’s body is probably somewhere between seventy and eighty (it’s really hard to tell). She’s lost most of her sight and has rheumatism in every joint. Nile is also fairly sure she has some form of dementia, but she keeps that to herself because even if Andy accepts and welcomes death, she doesn’t handle the road there very well.

Neither do Joe and Nicky. 

Nile isn’t sure if it’s because it is such a long time since they experienced ageing this close, if it’s because they can’t handle the thought of permanently losing Andy, or if they are scared by the knowledge that one day it can be one of them. No matter the reason, most of Andy’s care falls on Nile. 

She also thinks that the men’s feelings is the only reason Andy hasn’t taken matters into her own hands. Nile finds it both kind and cruel.

They find Booker about eight months before Andy doesn’t wake up from her nap, and it will forever be a comfort to them that Andy knows his whereabouts when she dies. (Or at least that they were able to tell her, it’s difficult to know what stuck and what didn’t.)

The day it happens, Nicky goes to wake her for dinner and doesn’t come back. When Joe goes to see what’s holding them, he finds Nicky sitting on the bed next to Andy, a hand on her blanket, staring at her face.

“Nile!” Joe yells and he’s still standing frozen by the door when she gets there.

Nile gently pushes him into the room and it’s all he needs to go to Nicky. It’s so clear that he goes to Nicky and not to Andy, because he doesn’t look at her. Nicky, however, doesn’t take his eyes off her, not even when Yusuf puts his hand on his shoulder and pulls him to him.

Nile carefully reaches to check Andy’s pulse on her neck, but her skin is already cool to the touch. She lets out a trembling breath when she straightens up and Joe puts his other arm around her shoulder. 

They stand there, silently, unsure of what to do next even if they have talked about it a lot these last years. Theory and practice are two very different things when it comes down to it.

Finally, Nile takes a step away from Joe and looks at the two men. “Go eat,” she says. “I’ll… I’ll take care of her.”

“You sure?” asks Joe. 

Nile nods. “Save me some dinner?”

“Mhm. Yes.” Joe nods as well. “Nicky, you coming?”

“Yeah…” mumbles Nicky, but he doesn’t move.

“She said we could say words if we need to,” says Joe, quietly in Genoese, putting a hand on the back of Nicky’s neck.

Nicky shakes his head and answers in English. “I won’t let the bastard have her.”

Joe and Nile exchange a glance as Nicky finally gets up, but doesn’t say a word. They don’t close the door behind them when they leave, which Nile appreciates. Then for a long time, she just stands there with her arms around herself.

“The world will be less without you,” she says, “but I am ready to be the first one through the door.”

She’s been that for a while, first through the door. It had never been a discussion, it had followed naturally when Andy didn’t come out with them anymore. Joe and Nicky aren’t leaders, nor are they warriors. Not like her and Andy, at least.

“I’m ready,” she says again, and she knows that even if she doesn’t quite believe it yet, Andy had been sure of it.

That is a great comfort.

* * *

As Nile cared for Andy in life, she cares for her in death, because even after decades of preparation, the men can’t find it in them to cremate her. Instead it’s on them to find Booker and fulfil Andy’s second wish.

He’s still in Gothenburg where they found him eight months ago. Neither of them understands why he’d picked that place, once there, it’s easy enough to find the address and after exchanging one last look, Nicky rings the doorbell.

Booker is clearly surprised to see them, staring at them as if they are ghosts. He looks somewhere between a complete mess and decent, but it is barely after eight in the morning so it’s understandable. 

“Nicky, Joe…? What…?” He smiles half a smile. “Did I set my calendar wrong? Has it been 100 years already?”

“Andy’s dead,” says Joe quietly, responding in French since that’s the language Booker picked.

The smile, forced as it had been, disappears instantly from Booker’s face. He takes a small step to the side and nods into the flat. “Come in.”

He makes muttered excuses about the state of the place as Joe and Nicky walk in. Neither of them comment on it, because even though the place is cluttered and it’s obvious that Booker once again makes a living as a forger, it’s clean and has a feel of home to it. It’s… comforting to see.

It’s awkward and quiet. Joe studies Booker’s current work on a painting and Nicky can’t help clearing a few plates and half-empty mugs off the table as Booker makes coffee for them.

“Must have become harder, this,” says Joe after a while, waving his hand over the painting. 

Booker hums and hands him a mug. “Yes and no? There’s more scrutiny, but also more idiots with money but no knowledge of art these days.”

Joe chuckles. “A fool and his money…”

Booker hums again in agreement.

“How’s Nile?” he asks.

“Struggling,” says Nicky, talking over what Joe is about to say. “Her mum died a few years ago. Her friends are in their late sixties...”

Booker nods, no more explanation needed. 

“She’s been really good with Andy,” Joe says. “Really good.”

“How did she, Andy I mean…?” Booker asks, looking at his coffee rather than the other two.

“In her sleep,” says Joe.

“Didn’t think that was an option for us.”

“Fairly sure Andy would have preferred anything but that,” Nicky says. “There were times she had difficulties recognising us, her eyes gone and...”

“She wanted us to scatter her ashes,” says Joe when Nicky’s voice shrinks into a mumble, “and she wanted you to be there when we do.”

“That’s why you’re here?”

Nicky and Joe both nod. 

“What do you want?” Booker asks. “Do you want me there?”

“We want honour boss’ wishes,” says Joe. “And we’ve both promised her to not throw you off the boat, not even once.”

Booker smiles, sort of. “What if I ask politely?”

“Maybe if you ask Nile,” Nicky says. “I’m not risking her coming back to haunt us.”

“We’re not suspending your sentence,” says Joe, “but you should be there. We both think so.”

Booker looks over at Nicky who nods.

“I suppose I should start packing, then,” says Booker and gets up. “Where are we going?”

“Nile will meet us in Saint-Malo,” Joe says. “Andy secured a boat there a long time ago.”

“Hm,” Booker mutters and leaves to grab his passport and a few changes of clothes. Nicky and Joe look at each other when they are left alone, both of them letting go of a deep sigh. This is both harder and easier than they had imagined it would be.

Booker comes back with a small backpack and his sunglasses on his head. “By the way, have you got hold of Quynh?”

Nicky sinks back down on the sofa and the crash when Joe’s mug hits the floor seems to echo between the walls. They stare at Booker in silence, the implication of the question too much for them to process.

The situation seems to dawn on Booker, because finally he breaks the silence with a cracked whisper, “Shit. You didn’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an impulse posting, because the day is awful and I need to connect with something outside of work and life. Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you liked it.


End file.
